social anxiety
You can overcome shyness and social anxiety by changing your thought processes and adding a few social skills to your repertoire. If you have kicked yourself for being shy and feeling awkward in situations when you wanted to get out there and project confidence, read on.
Instructions
1. Learn to Ask Thoughtful Questions in Social Situations
An easy way to get conversations started is to ask questions so you can get to know the people around you. Have questions ready such as "how was your weekend?" or "what tv shows are you looking forward to this week?" or "what is your favorite place to travel to?". Be genuinely interested in the person you are talking to. If you are joining in on a conversation, observe what people are talking about and ask questions based on the topic of conversation. Make sure that you enter the conversation without interrupting. Having questions ready will prevent any awkward silences. If you generally don't like to talk, this will also help because you will be encouraging others to do the talking.
2. Work on Why You Feel Self Conscious
A lot of people are shy and have social anxiety because they feel self conscious about some aspect of themselves. Figure out what you are self conscious about and actively work on it. If you are self conscious in front of groups of people, take a public speaking class. If you are self conscious about the way you look, make an effort to be well dressed so that you feel confident about your appearance. Start becoming aware of your surroundings and realize that everyone has flaws. Focus on the moment and enjoying the people around you.
3. Get Out There and Socialize
This may be completely intuitive but practice really does make perfect. It is easy to get isolated in your own world where you are busy online or watching tv. To overcome shyness and social anxiety, you need to decide to stop being isolated. Go outside, take a walk and talk to your neighbors. Schedule at least 2 events a week where you are getting out and involving yourself in social activities. Join in on group activities where you see the same people repeatedly so that you can gradually start socializing with them more over time. Try to talk a little bit more about yourself each time. It will make you feel vulnerable and maybe a little stressed at first but think of the friendships that you will make and how much richer your social life will be.
4. Develop a Passion or Hobby You Love to Talk About
If you have an interest in something specific like playing an instrument or acting, develop it by taking classes and learning more so that you have something you love to talk about. It is much easier to talk about things that you care about and that you are passionate about. You may even forget to be shy!
5. Get Away From Perfectionism
Not everything you say has to be perfect. Start accepting yourself as you are and make it a point to engage in conversation even if you feel like you have nothing to say. Small talk is just that - small talk about every day life. Don't place deep significance on every word you say. The key to overcoming shyness is to focus outward and away from yourself. Distract yourself from your own anxiety by focusing on everything else around you - the people, the surroundings, the food - everything that is good about the social occasion.
6. Learn to Have a Thicker Skin
If someone doesn't seem to warm up to you, don't take it personally. Learn to smile, gracefully end the conversation ("It was nice talking to you, I need to get going") and then move on. It is hard to click with everyone all the time. Look for other opportunities to join in on conversation or decide that you need to change where you go to meet people. Have a sense of humor about it.
7. Work on Being Assertive
If you speak up for yourself and know create boundaries, people will automatically look at you with respect. Use everyday conflicts to practice standing up for yourself and stating your opinion in a non-confrontational way. Take an assertiveness training class if you feel you need it. As you gain confidence in yourself in different situations, you will be able to overcome shyness, reduce social anxiety and build a social structure of people that support you and look forward to being around you.
Tags: social anxiety, self conscious, conscious about, self conscious about, overcome shyness, overcome shyness social, people around