Admitting the Problem
The most important step to take when dealing with an alcoholic is to get her to admit she has a problem. Until the alcoholic, as well as those around her, fully admit the truth, no forward movement is possible.
Effects
The alcoholic is often unaware of the true extent of damage he's doing. Informing him of this extent doesn't necessarily mean having an intervention. In fact, having each family member and friend approach the alcoholic individually may be seen as less threatening to the alcoholic than a group intervention, and he may be more likely to listen and change.
No More Enabling
To effectively deal with an alcoholic, part of the burden belongs to you. Accept that you will no longer enable his condition. This can mean not allowing alcohol into the house; locking the door with an interior-only bolt after a certain hour; or not accepting the alcoholic's company when he's under the influence. Refuse to be the one who calls in sick to work when the alcoholic is too passed out to even get up in the morning. It will be tough, but a tough approach is all that will get this job done.
Treatment
Once the alcoholic has been confronted with the reality of his situation, the next step is demanding treatment. This step has the potential to be devastating, but unless you want to live with an alcoholic forever, issue an ultimatum. The terms of the ultimatum depend on the severity of the condition; if physical violence or the threat of physical violence is real, seriously consider a true ultimatum: treatment or get out. A less severe ultimatum might be something like treatment or separate bank accounts; treatment or no more paying for college; treatment or no more being around my kids.
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